Ok, first off, don't panic. You haven't messed up, you've just really hindered the locking process on some of your dreads. No worries. Youre dreads are still babies, and have a long, long way to go.

Deep breath.

For starters, not everyone is locked up right to the scalp. It's normal to have one or so inches of undreaded hair around your roots, especially in the beginning. You can make it tighter with lots of work and effort, but it is completely possible.

Root rubbing and palm rolling are not instant gratification. It takes a while to get good knots. Becksta (I believe?) has an awesome way of maintaining her roots that I used to use while I was sporting my set. You wash your hair with Doc Bronner's or whatever you use, and when it gets foamy, sudsy, etc, take your palms and rub your scalp with a flat hand. When you get out of the shower and are drying your hair, carefully separate your dreads and palm roll the hell out of them. It helps the roots lock up nice and tight, just be sure you sort them out so they don't join together.
If you don't want to do that, just carefully root rub when you aren't doing anything. Waiting for the bus, watching tv, sitting in a car. They will lock up eventually. If your hair isn't gripping, you might want to try a biut of lock peppa or something similar. Some people also swear by a sea salt and water mixture (diluted until it tastes like tears) to help locking. Just don't root rub too much, or you risk pulling out hair. Usually a good 3-5 minutes on a dread is enough for a few days. Go clockwise (most hair grows in a clockwise pattern) and give it time.

Also, you're going to have frizzies, and they're only going to get worse before they get better. Try not to put any wax on hair that is trying to lock up. The wax may tame the frizzes and make your dreads look nice, but it's only making the hair appear to stick together, and it actually making them slippery, which completely impedes the dreading process.

I would also suggest stopping with the straightener. They are insanely damaging to your hair. The kinks and curls will help you lock up faster than straight hair, and the curls will go away with time. Baby dreads are extremely delicate and temperamental, and need space to do what they're going to do, curls, loops, bumps and all. Your hair isn't loose anymore, and conventional grooming methods aren't going to help you much.

Just give it time, and lots of care and attention. You'll start seeing them come together in a few months.